Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
