Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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