I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
