No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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