Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
