he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
