I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
