Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
