He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
