I want to make a zoo with you.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
