so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
