Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
