Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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