I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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