Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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