Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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