I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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