A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
