let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
