i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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