Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
