Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
