I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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