I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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