Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Don't tell me you're on acid again
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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