That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize