is your mom at the bar?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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