K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
