My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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