you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
