I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
