My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
