Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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