someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
farters have to be the big spoon...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize