____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
