if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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