Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
