I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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