k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
