you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize