Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
