I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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