You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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