You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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