woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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