I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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