She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
