dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize