I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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