I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
