Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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