I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my being single is dangerous.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
