So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
