how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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