is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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