they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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