Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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