VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
