talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
