I hate all girls vehemently.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
