STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
