How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
