you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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