No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
