They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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